Finnian Burnett

Author, Educator, Cat Person

Kanga Catches a Break

Kanga Mills punches a middle manager in the break room. We’re at the coffee bar, high-dosing caffeine to get through the McMaster project when Kanga, who has been called Kanga since he jumped from his third-floor office window while his bewildered secretary gaped and screamed behind him, hauls off and hit the manager..

When Kanga came back to work after an extended hospital stay where he worked from the computer management sent to his bedside, he remained Kanga despite strongly worded memos from human resources asking people to lay off it.

Middle-manager’s hands clasp over his nose, blood spurting between his fingers. His shock of orange hair trembles around his head as he sobs and shakes. Cara, who’s new enough not to hate anyone, not even middle management, grabs paper towels and holds them to the poor guy’s nose, shhh shhh shhh, hushing him as you would a crying child.

I worked on that project for months, Kanga says, about the project that won an award for the company, the project that got Andy promoted to the fifth floor. Kanga’s face crumples from rage to bewilderment and even Andy has the sense to look abashed.

We watch for a few minutes as Cara comforts the suit and security comes to escort Kanga to his office with the brand-new windows so he can collect his things and go home and drink a whiskey.

And maybe, tomorrow, when Kanga is applying for unemployment and we’re back to the McMaster project, we’ll drink too much coffee and talk about how Kangaroo Mills escaped in the only way you can, if you’re not willing to jump from a higher floor.

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