Finnian Burnett

Author, Educator, Cat Person

Yesterday’s Flash-Mo prompt was to give yourself an award and write an acceptance speech. I decided to give the award to someone else instead.

Cat of the Year

The curtains part and the crowd goes silent. Anticipation grows until the whole room practically thrums. Music plays, softly at first but building to a crescendo and Gordo steps onto the stage.

The crowd is on their feet screaming and cheering for the cat of the year. Gordo approaches the custom-built stand in the middle of the stage and waits for the staff to lift him onto the podium.

Once the cat is settled, a tuxedoed host steps forward. “We’re so pleased to announce the winner of cat of the year, Lord Gordo the Magnificent.”

The crowd erupts in cheers again and the host lets them yell. Finally, he waves his hand, and the crowd goes quiet again. An attendant adjusts the mic in front of the cat and steps back. Gordo moves closer to the mic. He gazes at the audience, an imperious look on his face. The crowd leans forward, breathless, as the moment they’ve been waiting for finally arrives.

Lord Gordo taps the microphone with one claw. Perfect sound. He opens his mouth and says, “Meow.”

The crowd goes wild as Lord Gordo jumps from the podium and heads backstage for his celebratory can of cat food.

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