Finnian Burnett

This is what Wikipedia has to say about coconut oil:

Coconut oil is an edible oil extracted from the kernel or meat of matured coconuts harvested from the coconut palm (Cocos nucifera). It has various applications in food, medicine, and industry. Because of its high saturated fat content it is slow to oxidize and, thus, resistant torancidification, lasting up to two years without spoiling

Well, I guess I’m slow to the game because apparently, everybody I know has been using coconut oil for everything from natural moisturizer to lubricant to wrinkle cream to deep hair conditioning. Well, I’m not going to speak on the lubricant usage, however, I will address the rest of the alleged benefits. I picked up some cold pressed extra virgin coconut oil a couple of months ago on the advice of a friend who suggested it would make a good moisturizer. In those weeks, I have used it on my lips, where it has gotten rid of all of the chapped lip crap of winter. I put it on my nose, thus alleviating that big ugly patch of dry skin that comes from blowing it all of the time. I rub it on my face, neck, and chest at night and have seen an incredible improvement in the quality of my skin, which has gotten softer, smoother, and more radiant. I even slather it on my hair sometimes about twenty minutes before a shower to deep condition and it works beautifully. So, I was already a fan of coconut oil when my sister posted a link about “Oil pulling.”

Apparently, oil pulling involves putting a spoonful of coconut oil in your mouth and squishing it around for twenty minutes before spitting it out.

NOTE: DO NOT SPIT IT INTO THE SINK. (Says the voice of experience.)

Apparently the health benefits range from curing migraines to regulating blood sugar to whitening teeth to preventing yeast infections. (I think there’s more, but the curing migraines thing is what stopped me in my tracks.)

You know, I hate taking pills and I am a big opponent of big Pharm and I’ll try just about anything I read on the internet that doesn’t involve anal insertion, so I thought, why not? I’ll give it seven days and see what happens.

The first thing to note is that coconut oil isn’t in a particularly oily state… it’s pretty solid. So it feels a little strange when I first put it in my mouth. It’s almost kind of gummy… but I just started kind of moving around in my mouth and after a minute or so, it started to melt. When it melts, it doesn’t feel slimy, like I expected oil to feel. It feels just kind of thicker water, I guess, and it doesn’t have much of a taste at all.

The first day I made it about thirteen minutes before my mouth got too tired and I had to spit it out. (In the sink…. Again, DO NOT DO THIS!) My sister told me that it will resolidify and clog the drain, so I had to run some boiling water through and hope it all washed down. (It did.) I didn’t really notice anything out of the ordinary, except that my mouth felt really clean. I brushed as usual with my non-fluoride Tom’s toothpaste and went about my day.

The second day, I noticed that a couple of pimples I had around the side of my mouth from being menstrual were almost completely gone overnight.

Day three, I realized that the small sores that I sometimes have in the back of my mouth because I have a tooth back there that is pointy and rubs against the inside of my gum were all gone. My mouth felt fantastic, very healthy.

Day four, I woke up with one of those headaches that have the potential to turn into a migraine. I usually try to stop these by eating a small breakfast, taking a couple of Tylenol, and drinking a cup of coffee. Of course, if it DOES turn into a migraine, all of that will come back up, so it’s not the best plan in the world. At any rate, on that day, I did my oil pulling and by the end of the fifteen minutes, my headache was gone. It stayed gone for the rest of the day, even at work where the glare of the fluorescent lights on the computer sometimes activates a headache in me.

Today was day seven and I can say that I feel the experiment has been a success. I haven’t had any headaches and my mouth feels healthy and clean. I can’t really say whether or not it is making my teeth whiter, but since that wasn’t one of the things that I cared about in the first place, it doesn’t really matter. My experiment did get my sister doing it, too, and she is very prone to migraines and stomach issues. She is not only oil pulling, but putting a small spoonful in her hot tea every night. She has had no stomach issues or headaches since she started.

As a side note, I sometimes get anxiety, and I have noticed that my fifteen minutes of pulling in the morning is kind of a meditation. I try not to do anything else during this time. I just sit back in my chair, put my feet up, sometimes pet the dog, and swish my oil. It has kind of a zen effect of me.

So, I guess the conclusion of the week is that I will keep going with the oil pulling as long as it still feels good and healthy to me… that is, until someone comes out with a study that shows I’ve been giving myself brain cancer with it or something.